Here Comes Goodbye (Alarice)

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He didn't look up, he knew to meet her beautiful eyes would kill him; instead he kept them locked on the crystal of the water. He could smell the scent of another on her fur where his had once resided. His heart broke a little further, and a surge of anger rose in his chest that threatened to overtake him. His voice was cold and angry as he spoke, the pain filling his words as he flung them at her.

"Find somone better did you? I thought we were mated Alarice. I trusted you with my heart and my life, apparently that was a wrong choice. Tell me, what is it about me that is not good enough for you. I would desperately like to know."

A part of him felt bad for speaking to her in such a way, but there was too much pain for him to bear. Too much for him to keep from his words and his face. As he moved his head to look at her full on and their eyes locked, he let the full force of his pain hit her. He let his eyes show her just what she was doing to him and how he hated her for it yet loved her anyway. The full force of it shooting like a beam from his eyes to hers.

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Every word that she hurled at him hurt him more and raised his anger to boiling point. How could somone that loved you do this to you? If she truly loved him then she would find a way to make it work would she not? After all, he was not the one that had said he was leaving, he was not the one that carrie the scent of another. Her scent was still strong on his coat, and right now he hated it. He knew full well that he was fighting a losing battle, and that later he would regret his words to her; but right now he was past the point of caring. He knew that she did not understand, but in the back of his mind a small voice whispered to him. If you can hurt her, if you can make her believe that you never loved her it will make it easier on her. A clean break is better than a jagged one, it hurts less. Some part of him stil cared for her more than it did for himself. He still loved her and he knew it. This was going to kill him, but he wanted to make it as easy on her as he could; a clean break.

Adyn set his jaw and whiped all of the emotion from his face, leaving a cold mask behind. The emotions faught to breat free, but he kept a tight reign on them and pushed them down deep, staying focused on what he needed to do now. Taking off at a dead run after her, he easily took a path that was perpendicular to hers and hit her from the side, suprising her and knocking her off of her feet. Quickly he pinned her to the ground, his weight holding her firmly against the earth. He knew that he had to speak quickly, before she fully regained her wits, because when she did she would fight him. His words came out as a cold growl.

"You don't get to speak you piece and just walk away. You got to speak and now it is my turn, so lay still and listen. You have played me Alarice, but I have done some playing of my own. I don't want you Alarice. So go to your pathetic little male. I have no use for you."

Before she could kill him or her should lose it, he jumped off of her and took off into the woods toward home as fast as he could. Tears streamed down his face and his vision blurred as he ran but he did not care, maybe a bear would come kill him, it would not hurt as bad as this. His heart shattered into millions upon millions of microscopic pieces within him, each one causing him intense pain. He gasped for breath, wishing that he were no longer breathing the whole time. He hoped that as she thought about it she would see why he had done it. He knew that she was no fool and that she was likely to see what had happened, after all she had said it herself. "I should of left you and never came back. Maybe it would of made it easier on us both."

He finally came to a stop where they had rested that night. Crawling into the den that he had shared with her all that time ago he curled into a ball and let the grief have its way with him. The shaking of sobs overtook his body, his face and chest soaked through with tears. He did not doubt in this moment that it was possible to die of a broken heart. Just now he thought that he might.

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Adyn froze. He heard her whimper and knew that he had been caught in his lie. Every muscle in his body went rigid and a growl began to sneak its way out of his throat, only to be cut of as Alarice spoke.

Adyn...I...I'm sorry...I...I dont know what to say or do...I can only say sorry... I dont want to touch you because I know it would hurt you more. I will leave you like this if you'd like...or I can stay and we can talk...alk civilized and not tackling and growling...I just need guidance on how to do this Adyn. And you cant tell me you dont want me it's obvious youre in pain, I made this decision...I still love you...I am making a better decision though. We will do better now...I promise...Youll be okay

Slowly he sat up, keeping his back to her. He dare not turn around. His voice was carefully emotionless now as he turned and faced her to make his reply.

"What is there to talk about Alarice? What will it change? Your decision is made, you are no longer mine. That is clear. How is this better? You have seen what it is doing, you do not seem as affected by it, but you see the effect that it has had, so tell me how can this be better? I will not be ok Alarice. Ok is living, ok is wanting to live, ok is being happy, no, none of that is for me anymore. You take all of those things with you. No, I will survive. I will continue to breathe, and think, but there is nothing left on this earth for me now. Maybe someday I will find somone that is a balm to the wounds that you leave behind. Maybe she will give back all of the things that you take with you. Untill then I will survive."

He sat still and waited for her reply, he had laid out his heart and feelings for her to see. It would change nothing, and he doubted that she would do the same, but maybe they could part undertanding one another.

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Adyn sat stock still and listened as she spoke. As she spoke, he could see the hell side of her fighing to be set free. He knew that her words were truth, yet it did not lessen the pain in the slightest.

As she turned and started to walk out, every muscle of his body strained to follow her. His voice clawed at his throat to be set free, to beg her to stay. But he knew that this was the end, this was the chance for him to make the final choice for both of them. If he went after her there would be no letting her go and he knew it. So he sat there, still as a statue and watched the love of his life walk away. His heart shattering and falling to the ground around his feet. As he watched, a single soft and heart broken sentence escaped him, and he knew that she could hear.

"Goodbye, my love."

A single tear rolled down from his eye and fell to the dirt at his paws.

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Adyn saw her freeze, and knew that she had heard him. He could see the muscles along her lithe body fight the pain that she was feeling. He knew that if he could see her face that tears would be running down it, and for once, he was glad that he could not see it. Seeing the pain in her eyes and the tears falling from them would be his undoing and he knew it. A sob shook her frame and it felt as if it was shaking through him as well. She did turn her face now and look at him, her eyes reflecting how he felt. As she lifted her head and let out a mornful song, so did he; their voices mingling in a song of pain and grief; the last song.